The funeral

It's the day to attend my auntie's funeral. It's a ceremony full of Taiwanese sonic culture-- traditional Chinese musical instrument playing, monks and nuns chanting, words family saying aloud together as part of the ritual, and family members' sobbing sounds...
I did bring my audio recorder with me. However, in this very sad occasion, I had the difficulty in taking the audio recorder out from my bag to press the 'rec' buttom.
For the sadest part of the ceremony-- when the family members were bowing and kneeing to her, I really cannot record it. I think I would not like to hear this kind of sounds again.
But later, I still did it, because this is the very last trace of my auntie. If I don't grab something now, what else of hers can I hold? Fading memories?
A few days ago, I left on my auntie's altar a CD of her voice. I recorded her in 2004. In this recording, she was singing a song, 'the big elephant', when she was babysitting a neighbour's baby girl. She sounds so relax and joyful. I think this recording should be something that my uncle and cousins would like very much. However, after giving it to them, I am not so sure if what I did was appropriate or not.... I hope they don't consider that hearing her voice is like killing their heart...
Her voice was very gentle. She was always smiling when I was with her. With all these good memories I have of her, I think I should not cry in the funeral. I am happy with what we've been together. All the experiences we had shared should make us smile always.
I am glad that I have had her voice recorded. She has a very caring and joyful voice.